Tread Softly

I was incredibly excited, yet equally terrified, to have a 15 min interview with an agent about my latest manuscript. I thought I was ready for the inevitable rejection. I reminded myself of the difficulty of getting accepted in today's market, let alone the odds of actually being published. I warned myself not to get my hopes up.

I didn't listen to myself.

Those 15 mins ended up derailing my life for six weeks afterwards, suffocating my creativity, pummelling my self-confidence, and causing my demons of self-doubt and low self-esteem to rear their ugly heads.

Thankfully, I have a great support group of friends who encouraged me to keep going and reminded me that I had a tale worth telling. Eventually, I began to write again. I also started to think about the future.

I had never seriously considered the thought of self-publishing, assuming that, if I had a good story, someone would want to take it on. I didn't factor in things like personal preferences, keeping up with cultural and societal fads, or the dreaded M word.

I have no illusions of being the next JK Rowling or George R R Martin. I write for the pleasure of seeing my words on a page and the thrill of having them read by another. Unfortunately, publishing is a business; money is their primary consideration.

So, I have made some alterations to my dreams. Instead of seeing my name in print on a shelf in Waterstones, I am hoping for some five-star reviews on Amazon and an ever-increasing download total. It will mean a lot of work, but my stories will be told and hopefully enjoyed.